SARASOTA, FL—Suspiciously scanning their social media profiles and contacting brokers to search for any indicators of discontent, the Baltimore Orioles administration was reportedly involved Tuesday after a number of gamers confirmed as much as the primary day of spring coaching in manner too good of form for baseball. “What are they as much as? Are they planning to give up and go play tennis or basketball or one thing?” stated supervisor Brandon Hyde, watching shortstop Ryan Mountcastle dash between bases and snatch a line drive out of the air with out a lot as breaking a sweat. “They have to be gunning for a commerce to a different workforce. Anthony [Santander] seems like he misplaced 15 kilos. He seems extra like a cornerback than an outfielder. Ugh, I can’t consider he confirmed up simply utterly jacked. We clearly should do one thing about morale, or we’re gonna lose half our workforce to La Liga.” At press time Hyde was issuing an order that each in-shape Orioles participant placed on 30 kilos of flab by opening day or danger being fined.